vagisodium:

if someone ever kidnaps me im just going to shit my pants because they either have to wipe my ass or deal with the smell and i want them to have it rough



Honestly, this is better than a good morning text. It’s 4am and you’re thinking about me.

I’m never not reblogging this because this means so much more than any other post I’ve seen and ugh.
bestdad2013:

how to bargain with your parents
alrikrache:

arelyhepburn:

This is the best gif you’ll ever see


Gotta go fast
"I’m not the same everyday. There are times where I’m loud and chatty, and there are times when I’m really quiet. I don’t think I can define myself."

larrycoincidences:

do you ever have a plan for the day and suddenly it’s 4pm and you’ve achieved literally nothing 

com-humor:

Me in 20 years.

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police